Man, I hope that girl managed to figure things out.
I distinctly remember during Ye Olde Hellish Childhood Days of being dragged to Baptist churches this one guest preacher that went on and on about how important it is for Christian men to be friends with other Christian men but how difficult it is for men to have friends, because of course when you become friends with another man you will naturally want to have sex with him, so the temptation, y'know? It’s tough, resisting those urges to have sex with all your man friends when you’re a man, all you men know what I mean. It’s so hard. You must be Very Strong In Your Faith before you can handle the responsibility of being friends with another man, so you will be able to Resist The Devil and not have sex with them.
14 year old me sat there in my pew, thinking. I think I know something about this man that he does not know.
Did anyone else get cracked under the influence of powerful psychedelics? I fell into an infinite black sea and heard a voice say "you are a woman" and I "woke up" and wept with relief. It was all very sudden.
me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”
coworker: “damn dude was preordering”
other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:
—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans
—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine
—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny
—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me
— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”
wait how could i forget!!!
—heard i was trans when i started working there but thought i was trans in the other direction so got offended on my behalf when he heard people calling me “he/him”
The problem with being chronically ill is that when you become more sick, with more symptoms, people do not understand why its so upsetting.
“But weren’t you in pain before?”. Yes but this is a new pain that I haven’t dealt with before.
“I thought you already had stomach problems?”. Yes but this is a new symptom of it that scares me.
“Arent you used to this by now?”. No, and I never will be.
Symptoms that have been had for months or years are hard enough to manage in the first place. Developing a new one is scary, and trying to find ways to cope while still juggling everything else is even more so. We are allowed to be upset at our symptoms progressing. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t bad before. It just means now its bad in another way we arent familiar with. And that sucks.
weirdest part about being an artist (and, to an extent, a writer too) is feeling like. shameful that you aren’t creating massive pieces of art. how dare i not line and color and shade every drawing. how dare i only draw two poses. how dare i only write 1k words. how dare i not write an entire book. how dare i
Hayden
| 33 | They/Them | Gender-Queer | I'm an artist living in Southern California. I like Pokemon and Octopath Traveler. This is my personal blog, check out my art blog below.
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